Thanksgiving - A Survival Guide for Guys

Thanksgiving. A time to stuff oneself with pink marshmallow jello (you may insert your own specialty foods), olives, cranberry goop, mashed potatoes, stuffing, corn, rolls and turkey all smothered in gravy. I might eat a small bite of lettuce just to round out the meal and win an approving glance from my wife. I have learned from my vast years of experience that the proper dress code is a nice, clean dress shirt (wife nods in approval again) sweats and fake fur-lined slippers (note of caution – slip into your designated seat while she is mashing the potatoes, cover with napkin and she will never be the wiser). Sitting at the table you look like a model for Norman Rockwell (wife smiles at you) with the comfort of no belts, buttons or zippers to restrict your expanding mid-section while the slippers warm your feet since all your blood has rushed to your digestive system.

Thanksgiving. A time to sit around the big screen and watch Lions, Cowboys and sometimes Bears Oh, My, exercise for you, as you become one with your lazyboy recliner. Or if you are the adventurous family guy you might play a game with the kids in the house (wife gives approving smile). Take caution - this year you might find yourself engaged in a competitive battle with their latest video games. Now video games are not what we know them to be: low brain activity and near death vitals imitating a comatose state.

“Hey is Scotty dead on the couch?”
“No, he just past level 23 on the Castles of Morander on planet Vitriols…look he just found the Portals of Squidish”.
Stuffing Cheetos in his mouth, “Dude, that’s wicked”.

To be victorious over your nine-year-old, and show them who is the original video game master (Lord DumbleDork of Morander), you must thrash your arms wildly while holding the controllers (yes two controllers), dance in place like John Travolta, or engage in battle like you were swatting flies. Any of those three motions done with the concentration of Viswanathan Anand (you know, the reigning World Chess Champion) and intensity of Mike Singletary (another Bear, Oh My), and you will be victorious! Ok, snap out of your fantasy, the truth is even your 5-year-old will crush you at any of these games. Get used to it, your video gaming skills are hampered by 80’s technology, a single joystick with one red button.

“Look Daddy, my pink kitten just knocked you out of the ring again. giggle, giggle”
With sweat rings forming under your arms, “Stupid controller. Where’s the red button?”

Thanksgiving. Seriously guys…a time to give thanks for your family and God’s provision. How to survive Thanksgiving is to remember all that is good presently and in your past - to see God’s hand of blessing on your life. You work hard, you plan for the future, you worry about your kids, you try to have a good relationship with your wife and still it seems you can barely keep your head above the water. Life is a struggle and at times life pulls us under (loss of a job, bankruptcy, marriage strife, declining health). We can easily become discouraged, disheartened and lose our zeal and optimism of God’s plan for us. Thanksgiving is our opportunity to be encouraged. God is leading you as a Husband, Father and Man and He provides, protects and guides us through all life seasons. Look up and see God’s hands keeping your head above the water, His gifts of family and friends, grace, mercy, blessings and provision…and give thanks.

And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. – Ephesians 5:20 NLT