A Tough Job

Being a parent is a tough job. Here’s a few quotes that illustrate the parenting adventure:

"The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet." ~ Bill Cosby 

"Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare." ~ Ed Asner 

"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." ~ Erma Bombeck 

“Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.”
~ Michael Levine

The last quote rings true. Just because you can give birth to, or father a child does not make you a parent. The sad truth is we have hundreds of homes in our communities with neglected, malnourished, and emotionally or physically abused children & teens. Like trying to mix oil and water, you cannot have a self-centered parent. Parenting at its core is giving up the needs and wishes of self for the health, care and provision of the child. My first realization of this fact was when we brought our precious little boy home and within the first few nights, I realized we would sacrifice sleep and quiet nights. I looked forward to going to work for rest. Later on I gave up the remote to the TV from watching Utah Jazz games to Thomas the Tank Engine and Blues Clues. I still have a few melodic phrases branded into my memory: “Blue Skadoos. We can too!…We just got a letter. We just got a letter. I wonder who it’s from”. Now, with teens I will be giving up my car.

When I think of all the sacrifices that come along with parenting, the one that stands out is letting go of the carefree, no worries life. When you bring your little bundle wrapped up in Grandma’s handmade blanket, you worry about every wrinkled face and noise. When you send them off to school, a friends house or riding the bike down the street, your pulse quickens. It takes all of your courage to release your grip on your car keys and drop them into the outstretched hand of your teen. Even when they are grown and have families of their own, your primary concern is still how they are doing.

I think that is why God gave us a reminder in the Ten Commandments to be respectful and grateful for the lifelong sacrifice our mothers and fathers have made for us.

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” – Exodus 20:12

A Fruitful Life

Today is Good Friday, the day the Messiah, the Son of God, the Lamb was slain. I think about Christ’s crucifixion, and I can only imagine the physical pain He suffered through his scourge and death. I know I cannot fully comprehend the emotional burden he carried by taking on the sins of humanity, the rejection of the Father, and mortality of being human. As we read about Jesus’ interaction with others, especially the outcast, oppressed, hurting and downtrodden, we get a glimpse of the depth of His compassion for us. Throughout His 3 year tour from the Sea of Galilee to Jerusalem, the Son of God healed the hurting, freed the oppressed, fed the multitudes, encouraged the weak, eased the heavy burdened, and gave dignity and hope to the least of these.

Jesus entrusted the 12 chosen men from all backgrounds and walks of life to be his disciples. In John 15, Jesus gave instructions to be a true disciple you must: obey His commands, love one another, and serve. If they remain in His love as a branch of the vine of Christ, they will bear much fruit. “This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” – John 15:8 The disciples were later commissioned to go, teach, preach, and baptize in the same love and compassion Christ exemplified.

This past weekend I attended a funeral service for a faithful disciple of Christ, my Aunt June. She lived her life, not just in a title of Christian, not in being religious, but in love and service to the most vulnerable in her community. In one of the most extraordinary funeral’s I have ever attended the compassion of Christ was the crown of her life. My Aunt June was remembered for her love and service to her family, church and friends, but also as a faithful disciple of Christ to the unlovable, downtrodden and neglected. She served for 25 plus years to the young men and women in juvenile detention. She served the homeless, hungry and naked at the local rescue mission for 25 years. She ministered to the men and women in prison for over 25 years. I can visualize my Aunt June sitting next to a man or woman without much hope, suffering in pain, guilt or shame, and hardened by life. I can see her listening to painful stories with a compassionate ear and tearful eyes. When she offers an encouragement of hope, to be a lifeline through friendship, and through acts of unceremonious service she is the embodiment of Christ’s compassion, a faithful disciple. What a fruitful life!

As you would expect her funeral was filled with mourning hearts and tears, yet there was the tender presence of the compassion of Christ and the powerful work of his transforming love through her life of devotion and service to Him. I have no doubt of Jesus embracing her in Heaven with the affirming words, “Well done thou good and faithful servant”.

Good Friday may be the day of tears and mourning, but we know the Son will rise and conquer death and sin. As he wipes away every tear we know He is our hope and the fulfillment of God’s love for us throughout eternity. 

Adventure Land

Adventure Land and the Swiss Family Tree House, Fantasy Land with Skull Rock and Pirate’s Cove, Tomorrow Land with the Rocket Jets and the Submarine Voyage captivated my imagination as a boy in Disneyland during the 1970’s. I remember walking around the park with my Grandparents and pure adrenaline pulsed through my body as I soaked in all the sights, sounds and thrilling rides. It was like my brain was on an intravenous supply of Disney caffeine. I became lost in my own fantasy land and even when my Grandparents had worn down and wanted to leave, I was still running at full steam.

Charlene and I took our kids to Disneyland a few years ago for the first time and it was like I was transported back in time to my childhood experience. At the end of our family trip we were all exhausted but joyful in our time together as one of our best family memories to date. Now, this isn’t a commercial for Disneyland (unless Disney executives reading my blog would like to make a big $ offer), but it does illustrate a feeling of excitement, anticipation, thrill, adventure, rest and enjoyment. A crazy thought – what if we were able to stir up those same feelings in our worship and service to God?

What if we had a similar anticipation and experience in attending church? I know it’s like comparing apples to oranges and maybe a ridiculous thought, but what if? Kids would eagerly wake up early in anticipation, teens would be fully engaged, and adults would view this time as a highlight of joy and rest to their busy and draining schedules. Pastors wouldn’t feel like they have to beg people to attend services. Can you imagine how church services would be transformed with all the contagious enthusiasm during worship? What if sermons were anticipated with the same appeal of Submarine Voyage in looking through the portholes in discovery of a treasure chest of gold, a sea serpent and mermaids? What if we all left church feeling energized, full of joy, wanting more and planning for our next time back together?

Walt Disney created a world with a wonderful story of adventure and fantasy which has become woven into the fabric of our American culture. God has created a story of adventure, truth and love that is not fantasy but real, and He invites us to become woven into His story for today and eternity. I look forward to that day when I stand in the presence of the glory of God with my friends and family. I can only imagine what the new sights, sounds, smells and feelings I will experience at that time. I know it will be overwhelming, exciting and full of adventure and “It’s a Small World” will seem like a small world indeed. In John’s vision of the Throne Room of Heaven he describes it in Revelation chapter 4.

 ³ The One who sat on the throne looked like precious stones, like jasper and carnelian. All around the throne was a rainbow the color of an emerald. ⁴ Around the throne there were twenty-four other thrones with twenty-four elders sitting on them. They were dressed in white and had golden crowns on their heads. ⁵ Lightning flashes and noises and thunder came from the throne. Before the throne seven lamps were burning, which are the seven spirits of God. ⁶ Also before the throne there was something that looked like a sea of glass, clear like crystal. In the center and around the throne were four living creatures with eyes all over them, in front and in back. ⁷ The first living creature was like a lion. The second was like a calf. The third had a face like a man. The fourth was like a flying eagle. ⁸ Each of these four living creatures had six wings and was covered all over with eyes, inside and out. Day and night they never stop saying:
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty.
He was, he is, and he is coming.” – Revelation 4:3-9 (NCV)

Discover more of John’s vision in the book of Revelation and discover the great adventure we have today in Christ and his preparation for us in eternity.

Sing for Joy!

What makes you sing for joy? A raise or promotion at work, playing on the floor with your grandkids, watching your daughter say “I do” to a godly man, having all of your kids take a nap at the exact same time, or maybe taking another bite from a decadent chocolate dessert. What makes me sing for joy? When I am filled with joy from the laughter from my kids, touchdowns from Tebow and the Broncos, a perfectly grilled medium rare rib eye steak, the smile of contentment from my wife. As wonderful as those moments are my joy is in response to something good or someone. There is one source of joy that is both a response and a position of faith regardless of what’s happening around me. The Psalmist inspires us with a timeless truth that encourages us in our source of strength and our response of joy.

^ Sing for joy to God our strength;
shout aloud to the God of Jacob!
^2 Begin the music, strike the tambourine,
play the melodious harp and lyre. – Psalm 81:1-2

In this Psalm King David reminds the Israelites of God’s divine presence, protection, and deliverance throughout their history. God also shares a present promise of “if you would but listen to me...” then God’s hand of blessing would be upon them. The word listen implies more than just hearing, it is an action, a position of humility and obedience to God. When the Israelites were active in worship and obedient to the law they witnessed seasons of peace, prosperity, and growth. They could certainly sing for joy in response to God’s blessings on their life.

Today, we worship in the knowledge and faith of God’s blessings fulfilled in his Son, Jesus Christ and in the gift of his Holy Spirit indwelling within us as believers. The source of his strength and his love is always present, always full, and always accessible. What more could we ever ask for as His children. I can sing for joy regardless of my circumstances around me for He is my source of joy, today, tomorrow, and forever.

“My Heavenly Father, I give thanks for your presence, power and love within me. Forgive me for my lack of faith to let discouragement, uncertainty, anxiety, and fear take the place of joyful worship. Regardless of what today may bring, I will sing for joy to you, my God, my strength. May my joy be a testimony of your love to others who desperately need true joy in their lives, Amen.”

Driver's Ed.

“Are you comfortable? The peddle on the right is the gas, the other one is the brake. P means park, D means drive, R means reverse, N means neutral. Always wear your seatbelt, check your mirrors, and be aware of your surroundings. Ok, let’s put the key in the ignition…try the other key. Good, step on the brake, put it in Drive, check for cars and lightly step on the gas peddle.” My first time out as a parent teaching his teen son to drive. Asher just received his driving permit and it falls upon me to be his personal Driver’s Ed. Instructor using my unblemished Kia van. It may just look like a family van to you, but to me it’s my convertible (it has a sun roof that we use for the few weeks it doesn’t rain in Portland) super cruiser. I would submit it to our local Show-N-Shine car show, but surprisingly no one else sees its power and beauty like I do…and I would have to wash it.

One of my first indelible words of truth and wisdom I shared was the word “Stop”. The louder and more nervous I said it, the harder one should press on the brake. The second was “Confident drivers are safe drivers. Insecure drivers are hazardous drivers. Over-confident drivers are reckless drivers.” Competent and confident drivers make good decisions, follow the traffic rules, keep emotions under control, and are courteous to others. Insecure drivers make timid decisions, do not fully grasp the official and unofficial rules of the road, and are not aware of their surroundings. Over-confident drivers make bold decisions, rules do not always apply to them, they tend to drive with emotion and treat others on the road as obstacles to avoid. You know those statements could apply to us in other parts of our lives as well.

We can see that insecurity in our lives can make us ineffective and hazardous to others. The root of most insecurity is fear. We can have fear in our relationships, finances, parenting, vocation, goals and dreams, and certainly learning to drive. That fear can lead us to hazardous relationships, unhealthy anxiety, and poor decisions in life. The Apostle Paul gave encouragement to a young pastor in his first assignment “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind”. 2 Tim. 1:7

On the opposite side of the spectrum we see that over-confidence in who we are and our control of all areas in our lives leads to recklessness. I would argue that most over-confidence is rooted in pride. Pride and its companion self-centeredness are a reckless heart and spiritual position that destroy the self and hurts others. Taking advantage of others, being rude and inconsiderate, verbal and physical abuse, gossip, slander, malice, bitterness and rage are all destructive behaviors that flow from over-confidence. “Before his downfall a man’s heart is proud, but humility comes before honor.” Proverbs 18:12

I strive to be competent and confident in life, as well as safe driving on the road. With Christ in my life I have the Spirit of God who is my strength and wisdom where all things are possible. I hope to have the balance of submission and love to Him and others through humility. When, I find that balance I can see His blessing upon my life at home with peaceful, loving relationships, at work, with friends and with influence in our community. “…All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5b

I have not doubt Asher will be a competent and confident driver with experience and golden nuggets of instruction from me, “If a squirrel runs across the road, its better to squish it then dent my bumper by swerving and hitting a mailbox.”, and I have no doubt of the Holy Spirit at work in your life as well.

The "Look"

Yes, my brothers you know the “look” from your wife when you foolishly do or say something that leaves her feeling “really, this is who I married?” Like responding to any of the entrapping “fat” questions with “yes, you do look fat…kinda like the Pillsbury Dough Boy” as you poke her in the belly, or using your delicate precious newborn wrapped in a Winnie the Pooh blanket as the football prop while you do the Heisman pose for your buddies, or lighting a campfire for the kids soaked with a gallon of gasoline. As your wife stands stunned in disbelief at your incredible talent, wit or skill she can’t say anything that would be used against her in a court of law so she instinctively gives you the “look”.

WARNING! Valentine’s Day is next week, be ready, be prepared, for you don’t want to be one of those guys that gets the “look” on the evening of romance and love. After 21 Valentine’s Days with my special Valentine most have been successful, but there have been some epic fails where the “look” was a bucket of cold water on the hoped for blazing fire of romance. Lessons learned on Valentine’s Day: don’t wait till 5:30 PM to make a dinner reservation, don’t purchase $3.00 flowers at a gas station, don’t watch “Cops”, “Star Trek” or ESPN all evening, don’t bring home TV Dinners and fruit drinks (“Babe, you can choose between Salisbury Steak or Meatloaf”), don’t do nothing (no card, no gift), and don’t celebrate a romantic night in a hotel with three little kids. Trust me, learn from my mistakes for I want you to avoid the “look”. Young man, I know you enter Valentine’s Day with fear and trembling (as you should) and the pressure is on, but I’ve got your back and here are a few suggestions to help you on this big day.

Cherish Her– Look at your wife with eyes that say “I love you”, hold her with tenderness, and gently care for her needs.

Honor Her– Hold her in high esteem, compliment her, thank her, respect her unique talents, gifts and service.

Treasure Her- Show her how valuable she is to you, treat her as the most beautiful jewel ever discovered.

Serve Her – courtesy, generosity, thoughtfulness in an act of service, eg. “Opening a door for her might be old fashioned, but it will win you her heart and a smile”.

Surprise Her – It takes creativity, timing, secrecy and planning to pull off an unexpected Valentine’s Day, but when accomplished correctly it will be the cherished event she will tell her friends about for years.

Men you can be the knight in shining armor this Valentine’s Day to your wife. You can avoid the icy chill of the “look” by being prepared, thoughtful, and sincere. If you follow a few of my suggestions above your beloved will feel cherished, honored and treasured, and maybe, just maybe she will respond warmly with the other “look”.

“The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.” – Proverbs 18:22 (NLT)   

Super Bowl Moments

Unless you have been lost in the mountains, wandering in the snow, eating pine cones and Box Elder bugs for lunch this past month, then you are aware that the Super Bowl is this Sunday. The Patriots and the Giants are in a super re-match from just a couple of years ago, when the Giants defeated the Patriots depriving them of their perfect season. In our sports culture, the Super Bowl is the premier sports event of the year. One game - one Champion. The Super Bowl is usually the most watched televised event of the year and the first Sunday in February has become an unofficial holiday. Just as the build up of excitement and anticipation in this game, through the action on the field, till the winning team holds up the Lombardi Trophy and hulking macho athletes weep, hug one another, jump, run and express pure emotion… I wonder if we have any Super Bowl moments?

I often daydream of playing in the Super Bowl (yes, I am well aware I am almost 45 and am more likely to blow out a knee getting the mail than run 30 yards for a TD), and scoring the final points as time runs out for a come-from-behind win. What an emotional rush that would be: the elation of winning, of being the best, the joy of sharing that with teammates, the satisfaction of years of striving, hoping, and dreaming actually came to reality. Well, I may not ever experience that as an NFL player, but I believe each of us have our own Super Bowl moments in life.

In the game of life we all have our hopes and dreams, aspirations, and goals. We generally desire to find love, acceptance and belonging, fulfillment, purpose, success and happiness. In our game of life we may view graduation as a Super Bowl moment – holding the diploma in your hands as your parent’s applaud with tears of joy, surprise and disbelief that this moment actually happened. We might think of our wedding day as the culmination of love, trust and commitment as the ultimate moment of realized dreams, or in the birth of a child or grandchild. Maybe its building a successful business, achieving a position in your vocation, earning the respect and acclaim from your professional peers. It might be accomplishing a personal health and recreational goal like running a marathon, climbing a mountain, or losing significant weight. Regardless if we felt we’ve had many Super Bowl moments in our life (the only championship I’ve ever won was in fantasy football), as Believers in Christ we will all experience a victorious moment.

John shares an ultimate “Super Bowl” moment as he stands in the great assembly in the Throne Room of Heaven in the presence of  God our Father in the presentation of The Lamb. The angelic hosts, elders, and all living creatures proclaim in worship:

“Worthy is the Lamb who was slain
To receive power, riches and wisdom,
And strength and honor and glory and blessing…
 Blessing, and honor and glory and power
Be to Him who sits on the throne,
And to the Lamb, forever and ever!” – Revelation 5:12-13

It is the Lamb who has secured our victory over sin and death. It is through the Lamb that we have the hope and promise of eternal life. In our celebration of victory we will all share in the Great Supper of the Lamb. I can only imagine the emotions that will permeate through my being at that moment…hope, longing, dreams, love, belonging, purpose and acceptance perfectly fulfilled…complete satisfaction for ever and ever. What an awesome day that will be! 

Tim's World

Those who wait for perfect weather
will never plant seeds;
those who look at every cloud
will never harvest crops…
Plant early in the morning,
and work until evening,
because you don’t know if this or that will succeed.
They might both do well. – Ecclesiastes 11:4, 6

I am challenged this morning in my steps to start 2012 with a fresh start. I have set aside the annual New Year’s Resolutions (which I repeatedly fail), and prayerfully sought God’s best for me in my physical health, relationships, work and ministry and personal growth. The renewed vision of God’s path for me was like a breath of fresh air after spending an hour in a discount perfume store. One of the significant challenges in taking the right steps and decisions in following this new path was life. Life gets in the way of the best laid plans: we get busy, the urgent commands our time, sickness, family, distractions, finances, etc. We could easily accomplish all that we hope if we lived in a vacuum world and we controlled all the environmental factors.

I daydream of what my day would be like in “Tim’s World”. I would get up early spend an hour in prayer and devotions, create a breakfast feast of Swedish Pancakes & eggs for my family, workout in a gym for 2 hours (sauna time included), enjoy a relaxed conversation with my beautiful wife over a cup of freshly brewed coffee, read a chapter from each of the three books I am currently reading, write another inspiring, witty blog, delve into deep thoughts in my journal, begin writing a book…then head off to the office at 8:00 AM and begin my day. I could probably accomplish all of the above if I chose to ignore that pesky time waster, sleep.

“Tim’s World” may never exist, but sometimes I fail to take daily action on the right thing to do for that day because I am still fantasizing about the perfect conditions to accomplish it. The reality is today is the perfect day for action. You may not feel like it, feel discouraged, tired, unmotivated, overworked, etc., but if you wait for the stars to align, time to stand still, and the “perfect” conditions, you will miss out on taking a step of action today. I think that’s what the writer of ancient wisdom in Ecclesiastes shares with us – Plant today, even if its muddy, chilly, and wet, and a harvest will come. For me…well at least I was able to write this blog…by noon.  

Eyes Glued Open

Sensible people keep their eyes glued on wisdom, but a fool’s eyes wander to the ends of the earth. – Proverbs 17:24 (NLT)

What are you aiming at? A couple of phrases you may have heard before: “Tend to your goals. He who aims at nothing is sure to hit it” and “There’s no point in carrying the ball unless you know where the goal is”. As we begin 2012 many often set New Year’s Resolutions to either start or stop something with a change of direction in behavior, habits or attitude. Most will give up their resolution after 30 days. At the heart of resolutions is a hope, an aspiration, a dream…a target. To hit the target we need to aim, to have focus and clarity in the steps and goals necessary.

Many years ago I had a dream, to find a young beautiful Christian woman and hoped that when I smiled at her she wouldn’t run away. One day as a college student in Santa Cruz, CA I smiled at a lovely face and she smiled back. In time the target became crystal clear, to see us standing facing each and sharing our vows before the minister, friends and family with fireworks an 80’s pop band and driving away in a convertible corvette with my beloved. For that to happen I needed to have good aim, focus and clarity in steps and goals along the way. In our dates I tried to be witty, fun, creative and masculine. Even though I failed miserably (like the time she had to push my beat up Ford Pinto so I could pop the clutch to get it started, or when I embarrassed her with a HUGE bouquet of blue flowers at her graduation) she liked me anyway. After a few years the next big steps were to talk to her Dad for permission to marry his daughter, buy a ring on a burger flipping income, surprise her with the BIG question, hope for a “yes”, and then plan for the wedding day (which to my surprise she did 99% of it – thus no fireworks, 80’s band or corvette).

After 21+ years of marriage I am thankful I’ve kept my eyes glued on wisdom and to not let my eyes wander…that would be foolish. I am a blessed man to be married to Charlene, my best decision in life second only to following Christ. There have been many targets, aims, and goals since then, and the ones that have been fruitful are those that have been centered, focused with eyes glued on God’s wisdom. Although my wedding day may not have had exploding rockets, a neon spandex big hair band, or red corvette, I found something much better, a life long treasure.

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord. – Proverbs 18:22 (NLT)