Count the Cost

This week I talked with my younger brother, who is leaving for his 6^th deployment to the Middle East. He will be gone for about four months and is leaving behind his precious 5-year-old son and lovely wife. I am so proud of my little brother, Jon-Mark, as he serves in the Air National Guard as a C-130 Pilot. He has flown military personnel and equipment in hostile territory, brought home the precious bodies of American servicemen and women who gave their lives oversees, delivered desperately needed American Aid to tsunami and earthquake disaster zones around this world, and has flown through the flames and billowing smoke of the CA forest fires. He follows in the footsteps of my late grandfather, Lt. Col. Fred Koetitz who was an Airforce pilot during the Korean & Vietnam wars. I am grateful for their service and can appreciate the sacrifices they have made.

My brother, like so many other active duty military personnel, sacrifice many of the things we all take for granted. His time away from those he loves and comforts of home. For months at a time, he serves 24-7 at any place in this world. He goes to bed at night, or day, without the comfort of his wife. He misses out for months at a time to see his son grow and play. He serves in areas where there is nothing familiar about the people, food, culture and climate. He eats in a mess hall. He often serves in hostile countries or territories with an aggressive enemy. His daily job often puts his life at risk. The long months of separation, the stress of military service, the added burden of spouses (acting as single-parents) and children (missing their parent) at home is a great sacrifice for the whole military family.

As Christian men we are called into service for Christ. I wonder if we fully appreciate the sacrifices that may follow in pursuing to be a disciple of Christ. We correctly honor missionaries and their sacrifices of the comforts of home. We may honor pastors and Christian non-profit leaders who dedicate their lives to the service of others, but what about the average Joe Christian? Do we even anticipate that sacrifice might be a part of being a disciple of Christ. Jesus addressed this issue in Luke 14:25-34 to the crowds who followed Him and detailed the costs of discipleship. Jesus made statements of: If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple (26), Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple (27) and So therefore, any one of you who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple (33). Wow! A thorough breakdown of this passage and its application could be a full sermon, but essentially Jesus is laying down the high cost of discipleship that He should be the first and foremost priority in our lives. The cost of discipleship is our full devotion, worship and service to Him as our Lord and Savior even if that may require some sacrifices of our time, comforts, possessions and will.

A challenging question for each of us: What sacrifices are we willing to go through in our pursuit of being a fully devoted follower of Christ?

Love, prayers of protection and gratitude to my Little Brother in his devotion and service to our Nation. Love you JM!

Funyuns and the Gym

Last week I had my annual physical exam. Good news, no colonoscopy scheduled – bad news, my Doctor gave me her lecture that I was borderline on a number of key issues, and that if I didn’t make some lifestyle changes, I would put myself at risk for serious consequences. At 50+ I feel like I can relate to the Apostle Paul when he says For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. (Rom. 7:15 ESV) I know very well what lifestyle choices my doctor instructs me to take: eat more vegetables, less sodium, less saturated fats, less carbs., less overall calorie intake, less sitting on my rear and to exercise more. I want to be healthy so why is that so hard to do? The short answer stings with two Biblical words: gluttony and slothfulness.

I really, really like eating good, tasty food with sodium, saturated fats chuck full of carbs like Buffalo Wings, fried chicken & gravy, salty chips, buttered popcorn, Funyuns and any fatty pork or beef. I confess, I show little restraint in what and how much I eat, which to me, fits within the definition of gluttony. Ouch!

The second sting of Truth is my lack of physical exercise. I sit at work, I sit in the car, I sit at home. My natural default to physical exercise is to avoid it. Exercise takes planning, time, effort and work. Over the years I have allowed A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, (Prov. 6:10 ESV) to lull me into slothfulness. Double Ouch!  

Writing this confession to you helps me to clarify what is at the heart of my resistance to healthy lifestyle choices, and that it may be more of a spiritual battle within me than at first glance. I repent. This last year I have taken some steps to be more active. I joined a gym and I try to work out 3-5 times a week and it’s been beneficial to me not only in my weight level and pant size, but in how I feel, how I sleep, and how much energy I have. But I still have a long way to go to be as active as I need to be. My eating habits and food choices are a much more difficult struggle. I am striving for self-discipline and moderation.

For you my Brother, I encourage you to pursue good health. You can best fulfill your God given roles with strength and vitality through a purposeful healthy lifestyle. You will be a better husband, more engaged father, more active grandfather, with more energy to be fully engaged in work, business and ministry. You will discover that your physical health affects your mental health, your emotional health and yes, even your spiritual health.

Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. (3 John 1:2 ESV)

The Look

The look. Yes, my brothers you know the “look” from your wife when you foolishly do or say something that leaves her feeling “really, this is who I married?” Like responding to any of the entrapping “fat” questions with “yes, you do look fat…kinda like the Pillsbury Dough Boy” as you poke her in the belly, or using your delicate precious newborn wrapped in a Winnie the Pooh blanket as the football prop while you do the Heisman pose for your buddies, or lighting a campfire for the kids soaked with a gallon of gasoline. As your wife stands stunned in disbelief at your incredible talent, wit or skill she can’t say anything that would be used against her in a court of law so she instinctively gives you the “look”.

WARNING! Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, be ready, be prepared, for you don’t want to be one of those guys that gets the “look” on the evening of romance and love. After 28 Valentine’s Days with my special Valentine most have been successful, but there have been some epic fails where the “look” was a bucket of cold water on the hoped for blazing fire of romance. Lessons learned on Valentine’s Day: don’t wait till 5:30 PM to make a dinner reservation, don’t purchase $3.00 flowers at a gas station, don’t watch “Cops”, “Star Trek” or ESPN all evening, don’t bring home TV Dinners and fruit drinks (“Babe, you can choose between Salisbury Steak or Meatloaf”), don’t do nothing (no card, no gift), and don’t celebrate a romantic night in a hotel with three little kids. Trust me, learn from my mistakes for I want you to avoid the “look”. Young man, I know you enter Valentine’s Day with fear and trembling (as you should) and the pressure is on, but I’ve got your back and here are a few suggestions to help you on this big day.

Cherish Her– Look at your wife with eyes that say “I love you”, hold her with tenderness, and gently care for her needs.

Honor Her– Hold her in high esteem, compliment her, thank her, respect her unique talents, gifts and service.

Treasure Her- Show her how valuable she is to you, treat her as the most beautiful jewel ever discovered.

Serve Her – courtesy, generosity, thoughtfulness in an act of service, eg. “Opening a door for her might be old fashioned, but it will win you her heart and a smile”.

Surprise Her – It takes creativity, timing, secrecy and planning to pull off an unexpected Valentine’s Day, but when accomplished correctly it will be the cherished event she will tell her friends about for years.

Men you can be the knight in shining armor this Valentine’s Day to your wife. You can avoid the icy chill of the “look” by being prepared, thoughtful, and sincere. If you follow a few of my suggestions above, your beloved will feel cherished, honored and treasured, and maybe, just maybe she will respond warmly with the other “look”.

“The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.” – Proverbs 18:22 (NLT)